I am with the camp that feels the term internalized heterosexism is a more accurate representation of what gay men experience instead of internalized homophobia. Most gay men are not afraid, or phobic, of their gay identity. Instead they experience shame because of how they are treated by society. We live in a heterosexist society where the majority of the beliefs and content we take in promotes heterosexism as the ideal. It is extremely difficult to live in this kind of world without having some shame for not being heterosexual. Let’s start using this more accurate term for what we experience and have some self-compassion for what we have to go through.