Before looking for a partner, I recommend first being comfortable being single, because desperation clouds your thinking and increases the chances of poor decision making.  Gay men tend to be more susceptible to the discomforts of being on their own, due to internalized heterosexism and overall decreased likelihood to be supported and accepted by others.  To accept being single, for the moment, gay men need to acknowledge and work on their internalized heterosexism and make sure they are part of a nurturing community. 

​Often times when we look for a partner, we will subconsciously be attracted to what we already know and is familiar to us.  This usually means someone who treats us like our parents did.  A lot of gay men did not have healthy relationships with their fathers.  Most likely because the father had difficulty bonding with a child that did not fit their ideal of masculinity.  If we just go with the familiar, we run the risk of going after men that will replicate how we were treated by our fathers.  Be intentional about figuring out what it is you truly want from a partner, instead of picking men while on autopilot.