Transforming Sexual Narratives: A Relational Approach to Sex Therapy, by Suzanne Iasenza, shares three qualities that tend to lead to successful open relationships, you are: 1) able to be committed to the growth of yourself, your partner, and the relationships, 2) able to communicate effectively and allow your partner(s) to have their own emotions and perspectives, and 3) not threatened by your partner’s right to privacy. 
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​Sexual Intelligence: What we Really Want From Sex and Home to Get It, by Marty Klein, wisely suggests that we ask ourselves what we truly are looking for from sex. When we have sex are we looking for validation?  Reassurance that we are men?  To convince ourselves we have some worth?  Give some real thought to what you go to sex for and see if it is realistic to get those needs met through sex or are you barking up the wrong cock?

​Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men’s Lives, by Walt Odets, tells us that heterosexual society prefers to categorize gay men as purely sexual beings, devoid of emotion, because it then others us and allows them to be superior.  Odets wants gay men to challenge this view and own that we are actually gay men not purely because we have sex with other men, but because we have emotional attachments to men.