Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men’s Lives, by Walt Odets, explains how most gay teens growing up not being able to share their lives and feelings with their peers or freely express their natural desire to be sexual leads to them having sex outside of their everyday social lives, making it easy to feel shame about this sex they are having in secret. This will often continue into adulthood. Check in with your body to see how it feels when you think of and experience sex. Is there something that brings up shame? If so, this is getting in the way of truly being able to experience the sex you deserve and you may want to see a sex therapist that can work with you to disentangle shame from sex.