Finding “the one” to love takes a lot of work, especially if you are gay, straight, bisexual, or transgender. One obvious issue we have to deal with is that our options may be limited due to close-mindedness or fewer people falling into our sexual orientation group. An issue that may not be as obvious is having to deal with all the negative messaging about ourselves that we internalize. Living with these thoughts easily leads to a lower sense of self-worth and having low self-esteem makes it more difficult to find the partner you actually deserve.
To increase your chances of finding your relationship match:
1) Accept being single, for the moment. While single, focus on the benefits of not being in a relationship and enjoy yourself. You will make poorer decisions if you are desperate to be in a relationship with someone. Think of it like grocery shopping when you are starving – not a good idea.
2) Learn more about you. Before making a list of all the things you want from your perfect partner, make sure you are fully aware of all of your great attributes. This will allow you to be more confident in yourself and help you choose partners that are deserving of all you have to offer.
3) Do not stay in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. If you have made sincere attempts at working at the relationship and your gut is telling you that it is not working, then you need to move on, heal, and learn, so that you make yourself available for a better partner.
If you are interested in learning more about finding your relationship match or other issues related to the LGBT community, please feel free to visit my website, LGBTtherapyNJ.com.
Israel Martinez, LCSW
I am a psychotherapist who has been working with the LGBT community on a professional basis for over ten years. This background provides me with unique expertise on issues that tend to be a part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender experience.